i am not a grown up.

i'm in denial that i have grown up.

there. i said it. everything is pointing to me still being a kid. all i want to do is hang out. take naps. drink beers. have fun. (okay so maybe kids don't drinks beers but i'm not willing to give that up).

unfortunately, my rent, cable, gas, electric, student loanS (yes, plural) and all the other bills are saying otherwise.

by the time i get home from work most nights, all i want to do is eat dinner, relax and get to bed. therefore, ive been trying to have as much fun as possible on the weekends. it's a vicious cycle really. because this lack of sleep on the weekends just escalates during the work week. but in the words of my dad, "it all comes with the territory. you're not a kid anymore."

on a different note - my dad has been unemployed for quite a few months now. last time i was home i helped him update his resume and today he asked me to apply to a job at Fedex for him. ever since he was laid off (stupid economy) he's been in denial and hasnt wanted to get back to work. says he doesn't want to grow up. in a way, its been great for him to be around while my mom got her surgeries (knee and back). but i think he's realizing that it's time for him to step up and get a job again. today he said something that made me tear up. He said, "i realized i want to be just like you when i grow up."

now that i think about it...if it makes my parents proud then maybe i DON'T mind being a grown up.